absolut ginger

Last Friday, I was at my friend’s pre-wedding buffet party. There were much merriment in the house with close-knitted family and friends. The buffet spread was great, especially when Mrs Yap cooked them all herself! Imagine rendang ayam at its best, stewed pork belly, crispy buttered prawns, yam cake, chai ngor.. (she’s my chai ngor sifu by the way), etc. Then, there was this little girl from next door came over to celebrate too with her mom and dad. She’s only 2.5 years old but the way she talked and walked, she sure looked like an adult.

She was polite enough to address everyone in the house. When she was about to address me, she didn’t hesitate and called me, “Fei Fei” on the spot. My friends laughed so hard. I too, chuckled away. Cilakak budak! Never give face! I thought to myself. Then I told her, it’s okay for her to call me “Fei Fei” but she better not start calling all fatties she might meet, the same.

Then, we were looking at my friend’s wedding picture. Curious, the little girl demanded to have a look too. Since I was engrossed in looking at the pictures, I ignored her. Then, she suddenly called me “Jie Jie” instead of “Fei Fei”. Her mom came in just when I teased the little girl, “Very pandai ah you! When you want something, you call me Jie Jie lah? Just now you call me Fei Fei?” The little girl looked disappointed and started to sulk.

The mom turned red and somewhat appeared to be apologetic. I was thinking, she must be very embarrassed that she didn’t teach the daughter how to behave.

“Oh! She was watching tv with this character Fei Fei in the series. So, she thought you look like Fei Fei. Fei Fei in the series ah, is pregnant. So now, she sees somebody looked like Fei Fei, she will call her Fei Fei. She didn’t mean it.” Her mom offered explanation rather apologetically and hoped that I forgive her daughter.

My mind went blank for a nano second.

What was that? What was her mom trying to tell me? Is being labeled pregnant far, far better than being fat? Hello? I know I am fat. I am ok if small children called me a fatty because I know one day, they will too, ended being as fat as or much, much grossly obese than me when they grow up. Karma is a bitch! LOL! Evil thoughts!

I was rather amused by her explanation. Hilarious! Sometimes, things are better off left at where it is. You know. Just laugh at it, and shut the fuck up if you have nothing better to say.

Well, I think at least, one thing came out good for sure. We know her daughter is not capable of telling lies.

4 Comments | In: Drama, Humour | | #
Posted by Gina

I guess I am one of the lucky few people who don’t need to be on the road for long hours to get to work. If your work place is just 5 minutes away from your house, I tell you, you will never change your job. Haha!

Anyhow, this does not stop me from experiencing blood pressure rising moments on the road when meeting with these people (are they even human??) during one of my rare drives. Seriously, I salute myself (when I was working in the heart of KL) and some of you people who have to brave 1-1.5 hours jam to work every morning. For entertainment sake, I put up some drawings to illustrate how frustrating it is to encounter such morons and idiots on the road.

Don’t you just hate it when a moron hogs your lane when he was supposed to keep to his right in order to get into the lane he wanted? I supposed he’s not lost because there are MANY of such kind trying to cut the Q by going into people’s lane only to get back to their lanes to avoid waiting time.

Don’t you just hate it when a moron hogs the left turning because he cannot wait at the long traffic light and trying to cut into the lane as soon as the light turns green.

Don’t you just hate it when you are driving on the fast lane, then there’s this idiot coming at you from behind at even faster speed?? Like running 180 kmph on a 80 kmph lane??? The best part is all the cars in front of you are also travelling at 80 – 100 kmph only and there are SO MANY CARS on the road. Worse is when you are driving at night and these road bullies modified their headlights which can blind you!?

This happened awhile ago and I wrote about it. I think this is THE ULTIMATE cause of traffic jams in Malaysia. So many KPC on the road!!

Some people just like to hog the fast lane even when they are driving like 50 kmph on a rather clear road. Please lah. If you want to take all the time in the world, please go to the slow lane lah.  Better still, don’t drive,  please do everyone a favor and buy yourself a bus card. Like that, you can even sleep in the bus! You might cause accidents if some idiot coming at you as fast as running away from the meteorites in 2012!

I can NEVER understand people who drive 40 – 60 kmph on the fast lane.

This happened in my office. Imagine, the company compound is quite large, there are plenty of parking spaces. One would just need to walk a bit further away if one could not get a parking lot nearby office. However, there is this particular moron who always park at the passage way where cars would be passing by. This of course, inevitably caused inconvenience to others. The best part is, this moron would scream at the security guard whenever he asked her not to park there. What a moron, huh?

They say, if you repeat the same mistake twice, then you are stupid. How about if you repeat 10x? Haha! I rest my case.

Well, hope you had a laugh. We all need a little humor every day. What to do? God made jerks, morons and idiots and put them in this world to entertain Himself. Haha.

Hope you have a great weekend ahead.

* The rectangular shapes represent vehicles lah.

10 Comments | In: Doodles, Humour, Society | | #
Posted by Gina

Got an idea from this link. I decided to add more to that.

The Tai-Chi Master – this type is very good at pushing responsibilities away to other people, even if it’s a very well known fact that, it’s their job. Most people likes to tai chi. Maybe they really go practise tai chi every morning, that is why they are so damn good at it. Perhaps it’s their job to tai chi to others. They should be made purely delegators as they are so good at delegating work to others, including their own.

The Remote Controller – Some people have the cheek to ask their subordinates to locate a document when the file containing the said document is IN THE ROOM THE PERSON IS SITTING IN! Instead of moving her cellulite infested ass on the chair with wheels (she might as well get a wheel chair), just to turn around and fish out the file, she intercom her staff to locate the file in HER room.

The Wayang Master – this type should quit his/her job and be an acting coach. When shit happens, he/she would create stories, tell fantastic lies to cover up his/her apparent mistakes and somehow made the problem go disappear or worse – pushing it onto some hapless bugger. If the entire award winning story telling fails – Cry! And tears will act like magic to wash away whatever wrong you have done and be given a second chance (or third, fourth, fifth? Infinity!).

The Medusa – this type is the most bizarre and probably only exists in my company. One General Manager is afraid of asking his own secretary  to  do some work that he had to ask other secretaries while his fat bitch continues yakking on the phone, doing her Avon sale. He is even afraid to look at her and thinking, he might turn into stone when asking for favor.

The Imbecile – this type do not have the basic common sense with regards to things that we share in common at work, such as the photocopy machine, the pantry, the toilet, etc. While we were making copies by bulk, there will be some people printing their documents and letting their stuff to go in between our well sorted copies. When you tell them off that they should have locked their prints in order not to interrupt your copies, they either stare at your blankly or they insist that their documents would not interrupt. Even when you have proof right there and then, yet they could still deny it. Or, people who thought the pantry sink is fitted with a blender by throwing all kinds of rubbish in it and of course, clogging the sink and the company is generous enough to give weekly business to the plumber. Don’t even let me start talking about the toilet!

The Splattered Urine – In Cantonese, we called this “Yeng Chan Yeng Chek”. It’s like someone is taking a piss and his urine splattered over to your side – you consider him your next-of-kin. If one has blood ties to the big bosses, I guess we cannot blame them if they behave like asses. After all, an ass is an ass, just a matter of how smelly. But those whose great grandfather, great grandmother, grandfather, grandmother, father, mother, uncle, aunt, yi ma ku cher, brother, sister, cousin, cousin-in law, brother-in-law, sis-in-law, cat, dog, etc happen to have very good relationship with the big bosses also behave as if they own the company. This type gets away with almost anything – being rude, totally clueless at work, totally inefficient, probably a retard and leave the poor honest co-workers to clean up their mess. This is by far – the most annoying….. but kuai kiu ngor tei khung meh? (Who ask us to be poor?). We have no choice but to blame it on fate.

Please feel free to add on the list. I am sure you have plenty!

6 Comments | In: Humour, Office Affairs | | #
Posted by Gina

I hate going for interviews. The butterflies in the stomach, the sleepless night the day before, need to do some grooming, wear high heels, etc. I am sure most of us have our own fair shares of interviews in our lifetime. Here, I am sharing with you the questions, some of them totally moronic, that I get in interviews.

Can you forge signatures?

This was the first time I went for interview in a small professional (actually, not professional at all if you read on) firm. The lady boss there asked me this question and I was in a state of shock. Apparently, the named secretary is not attached to the firm and he charges a few ringgit per signature. Little did this bugger know that, the lady boss is so much more cunning than he expected her to be. So, she asked me this question so that I could help her to save a few bucks whenever clients ask for a certified true copy.

Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 (worse!) years’ time?

I bloody damn hate this question. It’s not that I am being interviewed for a RM10k job. I am merely applying for a lowly paid executive job. I hadn’t even graduated from my professional exams yet that time. The best part is, they have three-panel interviewers asking me a RM10k job question.

In my line of work, this is a trick question actually. If you mention to them, you wish to be a company secretary in 5 years’ time – then, your hiring boss will think that you are such a big threat and decided not to hire you for being over “ambitious”. If you mention that you hope to see yourself continue working here, they might think maybe you are lying or probably a non-performing staff because you are not ambitious enough. So, macam mana? Either way, you still lose.

Why do you want to change job?

I really don’t understand the purpose of this question. People who come for interviews have various reasons to change their job. To look for better prospects, for better pay (they will think you are materialistic), can’t stand the current workload (they will think you are lazy), have outgrown the current company (they will think you are overly ambitious), the current boss is a fucking moron (this is normally the case of changing a job), oh, just for fuck’s sake lah etc. I am sure not many people could handle an honest answer like – the current boss is a fucking moron – so, please don’t ask this stupid question.

My way of answering this is – to ask another question – why did your staff leave this company? Normally, that made them scramble for an answer, eyes darting up and down, side ways and eventually, shuts them up.

Your friend is so skinny. Doesn’t she eat?

Actually, I was warned before even going for this interview. I was warned that this boss is super pintai and might give me hard time if I were to take up the offer. I didn’t know how pintai the boss was till I came for the interview. It didn’t help either when the HR personnel sitting in for the interview was equally a douche bag who should be fired.

Yeah. I got this question when I was interviewing for a job in the company my friend is working in. Mind you. This is MY interview. I don’t see the point of you asking me this question. I was very offended and said, can you please ask questions related to my job and not the physical attributes of my friend? Then, I know I would not get the job. I didn’t want it either. I just want to know my net worth. The two goons went on and on and on sticking their noses into my friend’s secret diet regime. I should have shot them the answer, “Oh, she’s on a diet plan called anorexia nervosa. You should try it yourself sometime, you nosy bitches!”

Do you know so-and-so?

In this line of work, the world is very small. We seemed to bump into each other, unfortunately, some of them are enemies. In an interview, I could smell trouble when the financial controller asked me if I know this person, that person. I was well aware that she must have found out something unfavorable about me from this or that person that she mentioned about me.

The thing is, if you already heard “bad remarks” about me, you might as well save your time as well as mine and reject my application at the first place. It’s really despicable to put me up on a stage and stone me. Worse, she was not listening to both side stories and already found me guilty. Well, it’s karma really. I heard that, the department is forever changing staff. Who would want to work for people who never give anyone chances and one track minded. For the record, I didn’t do anything bad. I admit I am a rebellious person but I am not a rebel without a cause. I always uphold what is right, give you things to think about, ways to improve methods of working, and give 100% at work.

So, what horror stories you have for me, from your interviews?

8 Comments | In: Bitch & Whine, Drama, Humour | | #
Posted by Gina

Found this article here and it had me in stitches.

‘Unfriend’ is New Oxford American word of the year
Tue, Nov 17, 2009

WASHINGTON – The New Oxford American Dictionary named “unfriend” – as in deleting someone as a friend on a social network such as Facebook – its word of the year on Monday.

Oxford University Press USA, in a blog post, said “unfriend,” a verb, had bested netbook, sexting, paywall, birther and death panel for the honor.

“Unfriend has real lex-appeal,” said Christine Lindberg, senior lexicographer for Oxford?s US dictionary program.

“It has both currency and potential longevity,” she said. “In the online social networking context, its meaning is understood, so its adoption as a modern verb form makes this an interesting choice for word of the year.”

Previous words of the year include carbon neutral, locavore and hypermiling.

Locavores are people who eat locally grown food while hypermilers modify their cars and driving techniques to maximize gas mileage.

******

I friend you.

I unfriend you.

Can I refriend you?

*LOL*

8 Comments | In: Humour | | #
Posted by Gina