absolut ginger

Last Thursday, I had dinner with a couple of girlfriends and as usual, there were loads to gossip about! One topic which made us laughed till our stomach ached is related to how greedy and kiasu some friends are during Chinese weddings.

Friend #1

We were at a wedding dinner and then, since there were only five of us on the table, we couldn’t finish most of the dishes especially the glutinous rice which came towards the end of the 7 course dinner. Kiasu friend asked if we would like to have the glutinous rice, none of us want to have it because we were too full. Kiasu friend suddenly stood up and gestured the waiter by doing a square sign with both his hands and fingers. The waiter was smart enough to  understand what he wanted and brought the Kiasu friend a plastic bag. The Kiasu friend started to scoop the glutinous rice into the plastic bag and said, “This portion is for supper, this is for tomorrow’s breakfast, lunch and dinner. And this portion is for the next day’s dinner!” Our jaws dropped in unison when he said that.

Note: Seriously, I don’t think it’s bad to have him ta pao the glutinous rice, but he doesn’t have to explain how he’s gonna finish the glutinous rice!

Friend#2

This particular friend is super kiam siap and kiasu. He went to a wedding buffet at this friend’s place and he started to pile up his plate with all the food till the paper plate is at the verge of tearing into two! Then, he helped himself not only with one or two servings. He ate like five servings! Then, to top it all up, even when some guests were still turning up at the dinner buffet, he requested some plastic bag and started to pack the dishes. Then, to make things worse, he also asked others if they would like to pack. And he had the cheek to tell people he wanna ta pao for tomorrow’s breakfast!

Note: I think it’s ok to ta pao if all guest had their fills and there are still plenty of food left.. but not when guests are still coming in!

Well, when my friends told me these stories, I chuckled to myself and said, “You ain’t seen nothing yet! I am going to tell you this.. and you let me know, if you can top this!”

My story #3

This is a story of my ex ICSA classmate’s housemate’s wedding. On how I got to know the housemate – I was doing ICSA, since I didn’t have a car that time, so I would stay over this friend’s place and went for exams together in Cheras.

Mimi’s wedding was in Bentong, Pahang. We made a trip there early on a Saturday morning together with Mimi’s colleague whom I have not met. She was a plump girl, long hair, bespectacled and looked somewhat clumsy. Picture a fatter version of a bespectacled Lam Ah Chan with longer hair, Lam Fei Chan.

When we arrived at the wedding luncheon, we were ushered to our seats. I was sitting in between my classmate and Lam Fei Chan.

Kampong weddings are very famous for its lavish servings. True enough, in this wedding luncheon, instead of the standard 7-course dinner that we usually have in KL, they had altogether 10 dishes! And not to mention dessert!

We started with the normal four seasons dish and Lam Fei Chan asked for extra plates. Whenever we were done with a dish, and the waiter wanted to take it away before putting a new dish, Lam Fei Chan would stop the waiter so she could scoop whatever that remained on the dish on her plates. Actually, it’s good because there is no wastage! So I was kinda glad that at least someone on the table really could eat everything and leave no dish unfinished. And instead of having two glasses with her, she had four glasses of drink – soft drink, tea, wine and Hennessey all at one go.

But when 7th dish came, she still scooped everything onto her plates and finished everything in gusto. I was already suffering shortness of breath merely by looking at the amount of food she was eating. Lam Fei Chan could just eat, eat and eat.

I was worried that her stomach might burst that instant. Images of her intestines, innards, shark fins, half digested nestum prawns,  etc plastered all over the wall, table cloth, baby’s chair, one old uncle’s toupe and maybe on me were becoming so vivid. I asked her not to force herself, but she delightedly told me that she is fine. I almost had a seizure when I saw some gravy splattered on her white blouse. Well, maybe her blouse was hungry too. At this point, I already tried to be invisible so I could not be seen with her.

This is not the best part yet…

When we finished the lunch, I thought the worst is over. Lam Fei Chan was digging her teeth with toothpicks and the other free hand holding a bottle of Hennessey. She was about to bag the Hennessey when the waiter called out to her and said, they need to bottle to take a stock count in order to charge the host.

Lam Fei Chan did the most unbelievable thing. She grabbed a mineral water bottle, emptied it and then poured the remaining Hennessey into it!!

As this was happening, I stood there with my jaw dropped onto the floor when my classmate grabbed me by the arm and both of us literally ran away from this “monster”!

Wah lao eh…. Damn sia sui!!!

So, after you guys read this, feel free to share your “horror” wedding stories. I doubt anyone could top that!

In: Bitch & Whine, Drama | Permalink
Posted by Gina