December 10th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
What Women Want
After about 20 years of marriage, I’m finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate.
Mel Gibson
The other day, I had a conversation with an old friend on why she is still single. She is a cute girl – looking somewhat Japanese, long black cascading hair, good sense of humour and very down to earth. So, it’s very puzzling that she is still unattached at age 29.
Friend: I just want a guy whom I could feel comfortable with.
Hearing that sentence sent my “something-is-very-wrong” senses tingling.
Me: Define comfortable.
Friend: He ah.. must be ambitious, good to his own parents, good family background lah, pleasant looking, pays me lotsa attention and rich!
Me: You call that comfortable ah????? THAT IS TOO MUCH!!!
I retract describing her – down to earth. Hahhahaha!
So – what is it that a woman wants? I guess it defers from woman to woman. (Even so – there were still bitches and sluts out there trying to compete for people’s husbands and boyfriends, sigh)
Once, I went out with a guy who has rotten and decaying front teeth. The tooth fairy obviously has long forgotten about him. When he spoke, you could feel air coming from the “hole” aerodynamically to your face. When he was trying to eat German sausages, I stole some glances to see how he chewed. Yeah! I am that terrible.
He boasted that he had slept with a number of college girls and the college girls couldn’t get enough of him. Some even catfight for his affection. Most of us might think – other than physical appearance, there might be something else that attracts these women to this unruly haired guy, rotten teeth, no steady job, reminds me of my late grandmother (coz he smells like her! God bless her soul) and still living with his mom. Till today, I couldn’t be bothered to figure out why.
I have a friend who is never short of companionship from the opposite sex as she is very beautiful. Everywhere she goes, heads would turn. After numerous attempts of finding the ultimate romance, she ended up with the ultimate loser amongst the sea of men. I asked her, why she didn’t try to get at least a man with a decent job (Hello? Basic requirement?) and a man who respects her privacy and dignity.
She said, among the men she dated, she felt safest with this guy because he’s not good looking, penniless and totally devoted to her. (Of course! She is the one wearing pants in the house and he is jobless) So he won’t be able to be infidel and remain faithful to her. Unfortunately, if a guy who has no front teeth could get girls fighting for him; this ugly and poor bastard could also get a chance to fool around, in which he did! And now, they are divorcing. I couldn’t be happier for her!
So what is it that women want? I still haven’t found an answer in my own question. This morning, I spoke to a few girlfriends – singles and attached as well, by asking them what they want from a man.
Betty*, single, age 33 said
Caring, attention, mature financially and mentally, if he can provide basic 5Cs then, it would be great, but, what I want most is : we can communicate..
Wah… 5Cs some more. *Shook head*
Pamela*, single, age 33 said
I want attention, and able to guide me mentally, emotional support, a down to earth person, and not calculative, sense of humor, kind hearted, also financially stable, romantic, dare to take the lead
Sounds like job description to me. Hahahaha!
Pink*, single, age 31 said
Freedom, money, health, love, friendship, quality of life
Sounds like values plucked out from Pendidikan Moral book. LOL.
Lily*, dating for 2.5 years, age 31 said
Someone resembles my dad, caring, understanding, kind, humble.
This girl is totally unmaterialistic.
Lilac*, single, age 31 said
I just want men to relax on their first date and not just keep babbling about themselves for the sake of filing in the silence gap. My fundamental is communication.
So simple ah???
Hot Cookie, single and being pursued, age 31, said
Respect, caring, know how to listen, girls need attention, a person to listen to, not necessarily need to respond, retaliate or debate.
Uhm.. I think I prefer people to respond, retaliate and debate. A hot debate or argument would spice up a relationship. Ah…. I so the drama queen!
At least, these powerful and capable ladies know what they want from men.
I think there is no perfect answer in understanding what women want. Women are not made to be understood, they are made to be respected, cared for and ultimately, loved.
* Names are changed to protect the cool ladies
Also read:
What men want
Dating archive